Coo, it was bloomin’ windy this week. A sudden huge gust blew me right off my nest! Luckily Tiddles Clutterbuck was lurking under my tree, so I had a nice soft landing. He’s OK, though - just used up one of his nine lives.
This got me thinking. How come flippin’ moggies get nine lives dished out to them? Of course, there must be a nice cat here and there like Paws, but the sad fact is that the vast majority of cats were obviously serial killers in a previous life.
Funny thing, reincarnation. It must have caused no end of confusion back in the Jurassic era. Just imagine, one minute you’re a T. Rex, or even a spinosaurus, lord of all you survey, then before you can say ‘mass extinction,’ POW! the comet hits. Then next thing you know you’re a shrew, and your world view is limited to bugs and worms.
I suppose there might be some kind of similarity, though, in what kind of critter you get reincarnated as. A shark might come back as an estate agent (or vice versa.) Or if you’re a wool bearing animal, and haven’t been able to get up to much mischief, you wake up in another field. This might not be jammy, though. In one life you’re a sheep, happily grazing in your field, dreaming about the hidden vistas on the other side of the hedge. Then you get reincarnated as a llama. At last you can see over the hedge! But instead of green fields and valleys, you have a lovely view of the M6 toll road.
So, reincarnation ain’t all it’s cracked up to be (unless you come back as a millionaire, of course.)
And what, you may ask, was a certain giant pigeon in his previous life?
Just don’t call me Scarface…
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The adventures of Fat Tony,the biggest pigeon in the world. I am a writer and kids' taxi.
9 comments:
Daleks versus dinosaurs is there anything better? PS there should be more dinosaurs on this page!!!
Dinosaurs are all very well in their place, but not the kind of thing you want trying to share your birdbath.
You fill the bird bath on your own! the dinosaur wouldn't have a chance! (I mean that in the nicest way possible...love eeee)
And that's not all. The T.Rexs always jump the queue in the chippy.
Maybe you should find a new chippy.
Tellin' a pigeon to change his chippy is like asking the Pope to change his religion. No offense...
The reason why we cats have so many lives is because we eat loads of rare green mushrooms. Just like fat Italian plumbers.
Eh??
I guess you're not familiar with retro computer games. Click my name and you'll soon get the reference.
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