Friday, January 26, 2007

Decisions, decisions...

Hobnobs or Ryvita? Peanuts or celery stick? Toast or lettuce leaf? Eat like a pig and be my usual self, or diet and be a miserable, grumpy pigeon? It's wearing my brain out...

Sunday, January 14, 2007

You are what you Tweet

Reasons for going on a diet:
1. I'll be able to fly again.
2. Doris Budgie might agree to share her last Rolo with me if I lose a couple of pounds.
3. I'll be able to make a quick getaway from Tiddles the cat.
4. I can run down to the chippy instead of taking a taxi so I will save pounds too!
5. I will be even more handsome than I am now!

Reasons for NOT going on a diet:
1. No chips, chocolate, crisps or pizza!
2. If I go on a diet I could end up on the telly with Gillian McTweet and she will start ferreting about in my pigeon droppings - yuk!
3. No fig rolls, custard creams or chocolate Hobnobs!
4. Instead of running away from Tiddles I can just squash him like a furry bug.
5. I might not be the biggest pigeon in the world any more!

Hmm... it's going to be a finely balanced decision...

Friday, January 05, 2007

Crash landing!

Chocks away! Flap, flap, flap, flap, FLAP!
Cough, splutter…aaaaargh! CRASH! SPLINTER!
Help! I can't achieve escape velocity!
Maybe, just maybe - perhaps I should go on a - DIET!