I was just settling down to watch 'The Apprentice' last night (I want to pick up some tips for controlling my henchpigeons.) I'd made a nice big stack of fish finger butties (with peas.) While I was looking round for the telly remote, this blighter sneaked up inside my nest and scoffed the lot! I got cross and gave him a peck, when he started blubbing, saying he'd lost his Mummy. He chased after some guy in a black-and-white suit who pinched HIS fish supper, and couldn't find his way home again. I got us a chippy tea to cheer us both up, but blimey - he's a really messy eater. I'm still picking bits of fish out from behind my ears (difficult when you're a pigeon.) How can I maintain my gangster image when I end up babysitting a constant stream of stray animals?
Now I have to turn detective. Where does Ollie Otter live? And who nicked his fish supper?
7 comments:
I know who nicked his dinner. His name is Peter (that is what he told me). He has been eating me out of house and home for weeks. He poked his beak into my den one lunchtime when I was eating my sardine sarnies! I told him fly off home( well maybe not quite as politely as that)and get his own dinner. He gave me this sob story about not being able to fly. Fool that I am felt sorry for him cos his wings were short and stubby. I told him he could stay until he could fly again. He just got fatter and fatter but his wings never grew!! I think he was doing something to them.He left when there was nothing left in my winter store cupboard never said goodbye or thanks or anything. Don't let him con you like he did me!!!!
Red Ron
This sounds like a very fishy story to me.
Who are you Red Ron? I haven't see you round these parts before....or have I? Do you have a cunning disguise such as a beard or a pointy hat/beret?
I think I know who it is! It's probably your arch-enem...nah, I won't spoil it everyone. I don't want to ruin the surprise. And it's not because I'm worried I'm wrong.
I'm sure you're barking up the right tree, Paws. But Red Ron sounds like a red herring, I reckon.
Black and white suit? Makes my think of a skunk or a magpie....?
I don't think skunks eat fish. Being so smelly, they probably like spicy foods like a vindaloo.
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