Monday, June 26, 2006

Location, location, location

Well, the search for a new perch continues. You would think that meanie of a Mole would let me kip in his burrow for a day or two while I look for a new home, but No. Just because I was stuck there for days last time I went down his tunnel.
I tried kipping on top of the garden shed but it's covered in ants and woodlice and after a while things down below got downright tickly, if you know what I mean. Although they were nice and crunchy to eat.
It's starting to rain now... And the chippy has shut down coz the owner's on holiday in Germany watching some football thing or other.
It's going to be a long night...

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Reports that the Mole put a spanner in the works of Fat Tony's invisibility machine are completely unfounded, according to this month's Helloooo! magazine. "It were a screwdriver, silly. Oi couldn't foind a spanner. That there machine had to go - that rotten pigeon kept squishing moi worm collection- and Oi couldn't bash 'im over the head while he wuz invisible. Hurr hurr! It wuz real funny when 'ee turned into a budgie, moind. Oi laughed my socks off." Fat Tony was unavailable for comment yesterday, but a spokespigeon assured our reporter that it won't be long before he comes up with a new plan for taking over the world. Especially once he's overcome his new fondness for millet.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The End of an Era

Phew! The effects of the invisibility field wore off and I'm back to my usual handsome self (and size.) I've taken the cloaking device down to the council tip - things were getting way too scary. I put some fresh batteries in and tried it out on my climbing frame perch, and it didn't just become invisible - it vanished altogether! Thank goodness I didn't try it on myself again - I could have ended up down a black hole or summat. I don't know why my invention went so horribly wrong. Did I make a mistake with the wiring? Or could it be Sabotage?
I'm going to have to find a new perch (sob.)
... And another thing. The Mole has been insufferably smug after appearing on Bill Oddie's Springwatch last night. Getting too big for his boots, if you ask me.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

An unexpected side-effect

Bleurgh... I still feel very green. Not a well pigeon at all. I did a last heist on a bird seed factory last night, but only came away with peanuts. I turned off the invisibility field this morning, hoping it would make me feel better, (you can see the framework of the machine under my feet,) but the effects are taking a long time to wear off.
My hench-pigeons aren't much help. They keep giggling behind my back. I wonder why?