Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Supermassive black hole?

Some pundits think it is unwise for pigeons and moles to tamper with nature, and I'm beginning to think they're right. Since my ill-fated experiment with the cloaking device (or invisibility machine for non sci-fi nuts) the garden hasn't been its usual self. Strange temporal effects have occurred, like me thinking it was Thursday all day yesterday. And the garden shed and my new perch, the bird table, are looking decidedly rickety. (Before you all comment and say it doesn't look sturdy enough to take the weight of the biggest pigeon in the world, I'd just like to point out that the bird table is in fact 40ft high x 10ftx 20 ft. So there.)
Anyway, after watching Dr Who this week with all the cool Dalek and Cybermen battles, this weird shiny light appeared. It must be the gateway to another dimension!
So I'm off to explore this brave new world. I'm hoping it will end up somewhere brilliant like Fort Knox, the Bank of England or maybe even the Tower of London with all those sparkly crown jewels! At the very least it'll help me with my cunning plan to take over the world! Be seeing ya!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Did I miss something?

What a weekend. After a miserable several days trying to find a new perch, I cheered myself up on Friday night with 3 pizzas, a Chinese takeaway and six kebabs. For some reason I didn't feel too chipper on Saturday, so I tried to sleep it off in a conifer tree, thinking it would be nice and quiet all afternoon.
Well, the noise from all the nearby houses was unbelievable. Shrieks, groans, whistles, shouting and strange foreign imprecations. Then just when it finally went quiet at last, everyone started firing up barbecues in their back gardens and made me peckish all over again.
If it wasn't for the fact it's early July, I would have thought there was a big footie match on.