Day 1000000000000000001 in the Big Birdbrain garden. It's 27 hours and 92 minutes since Doris Budgie pulled out all Big Vanessa's tail feathers and made them into a feather duster. Big Vanessa is hiding behind the compost heap.
It's Fat Tony's turn to do the washing up.
Ten minutes later, Fat Tony is called to the Diary Perch.
Big Birdbrain: It was your turn to do the washing up this morning, Fat Tony.
Fat Tony: I did!
Big Birdbrain: Throwing all the crocks into the bird bath and jumping up and down on them doesn't count.
There isn't a single cup and saucer left unbroken.
Fat Tony: Gaaaaaaaah! Washing up's a mug's game!
Big Birdbrain: Big Birdbrain will reduce your rations if you don't complete your alloted task properly, Anthony.
Fat Tony: Yeah, you and whose army? I'll sit down hard on anyone who tries to cut down on my chip butties!
Big Birdbrain: Ahem! Who do you nominate for eviction this week, Fat Tony?
Fat Tony: Big Vanessa! Me and Doris Budgie want to get back together again. How can I coo sweet nothings in her ear with a two ton pigeon in the way?
Big Birdbrain: The task for the gardenmates this week is a tough one. Failure to complete it will mean no more chip butties or kebabs, Fat Tony. Using only the bits of tissue spread around the garden from Lexica's washing (why doesn't she check the jeans pockets properly?) you must construct a treehouse capable of bearing the weight of yourself, Big Vanessa and Doris for ten seconds...
Fat Tony: Coo!
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