The problem with appearing on the telly (even if all the viewers can see is your feet waving around at the bottom of a Giant Pit) is that you become an instant celebrity. And acquire a Stalker.
Mine is called Big Vanessa, and I just can't shake her off.
As you know, I'm a slightly-larger-than-usual pigeon (just slightly) but trees crash and buildings topple when Big V. flies past.
I tried puffing myself up to twice my usual size, and the dozy pigeon thought this was a 'come-on'!
She's following me about everywhere, and even tried to muscle in on my nice nest (tastefully lined with copies of the Beano.)
And the worst - the absolute Worst- of it all - I can hardly tell you this, it's so Awful...
She keeps pinching my chips!
Big Vanessa has got to go. And soon - or I'll be a shadow of my former self...
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