Reasons for going on a diet:
1. I'll be able to fly again.
2. Doris Budgie might agree to share her last Rolo with me if I lose a couple of pounds.
3. I'll be able to make a quick getaway from Tiddles the cat.
4. I can run down to the chippy instead of taking a taxi so I will save pounds too!
5. I will be even more handsome than I am now!
Reasons for NOT going on a diet:
1. No chips, chocolate, crisps or pizza!
2. If I go on a diet I could end up on the telly with Gillian McTweet and she will start ferreting about in my pigeon droppings - yuk!
3. No fig rolls, custard creams or chocolate Hobnobs!
4. Instead of running away from Tiddles I can just squash him like a furry bug.
5. I might not be the biggest pigeon in the world any more!
Hmm... it's going to be a finely balanced decision...
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