Well, we're back safe and sound. With two mighty leaps, Mole and I were back in the 'hood!
And what has happened while I've been away? The food fascists have been on the rampage, threatening to shut down all the chippys and kebab shops!
I reckon Jammie Oliver and Gillian McTweet haven't thought things through, though. None of this healthy eating lark really applies to pigeons because:
1. We're designed to be walking dustbins anyway.
2. Pigeon survival is at stake. It stands to reason; a small pigeon will make an easy mouthful for a moggy. But an economy-sized pigeon (modest cough) will be too difficult for any passing Tiddles to fit in their maw. AND can squash the nasty moggy flat as a pancake if it gives any trouble.
3. If I went on a diet, I wouldn't be the biggest pigeon in the world any more and some pathetic wannabe would take my place.
So I have a message for Jammie Oliver: TALK TO THE WING, 'COZ THIS PIGEON AIN'T LISTENING!
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9 comments:
Maching!
Never mind the obesity crisis, which option did you take? And which tunnel did you use? You can't just give us a vague, "We're back." What happened? I need closure!
We did a hip dip my blue ship and ended up in the left hand tunnel. Mole went first in case emergency digging was needed. It was a really really tight squeeze and then there was a loud Pop! and there we were in the back garden. That was lucky, wasn't it?
Huzzah! I had a helpful idea! Glad to have you back safe and sound.
Yeah, it was a great idea. I suppose if I'd gone first and got stuck, the Mole would've dug round me eventually, but it would've taken a lot longer. And he might've got bored and just left me there!
you should have taken a trowel, trowels are always useful.
I thought it was towels that were always useful?
aaah yes, if you are hitchhiking around the galaxy, however if you wish to dig something up...you can't beat a trowel
You can beat a trowel. I find a mattock normally puts it in its place.
When I was a young nestling, you used to be able to buy chocolate tools: saws, hammers etc.
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