The homecoming

I came home last night to find the SAS had not only eaten all my Chorley cakes, but also the tin of king-size Mars bars I was saving for a peckish moment. Bloomin' cheek!

Had a good holiday, although as usual me and Doris Budgie ended up not speaking. I took her on the Ghost Train thinking it would be romantic, and hoping for some friendly billing and cooing, but no such luck. She had an Yvette Fielding moment when a green 'ghoul' popped up in front of the train and wouldn't stop screaming for an hour.

Back to the grind, I suppose. Time to check out all the bird feeders and see what goodies have appeared while I've been away.

On guard

Well, it's time for my autumn break. I was a bit worried about leaving all my ill-gotten gains (and Chorley cakes) unguarded all week, though (let's face it, Gorgeous Gary is too much of a big softie to be a proper henchman.) So I asked some hard mates to keep an eye on things and make sure Tiddles doesn't come prowling around. Curly, Larry and Mo are from the SAS (Special Attack Sheep) regiment and they don't take kindly to anyone butting in on their territory.
See you next week!

Disillusioned

I flew down to Tesco's and tracked down some Chorley cakes. They were smaller than I remembered. But you'll never believe this - they were made in East Kilbride! And the Eccles cakes I bought were made in Ardwick.
The whole world has gone mad.
If I discover next that Kendal mint cake isn't made in Kendal and that Victoria sponges aren't made by Queen Victoria I'm going to give up and stick to Empire biscuits.
Made in the British Empire, of course.

Harold

This is Harold Hairybreeks, who claims to be the world's hairiest sheep. He's from Denmark, and rowed over in his Viking longboat one evening to have drinks and nibbles with me and Doris. He's very partial to fish finger butties. (With peas.)

Where are they now?

I was sitting on top of the climbing frame, feeling peckish as usual, when I suddenly wondered why you never see Chorley cakes any more. (For soft southerners, a Chorley cake is like a giant eccles cake.) Or Dundee biscuits. Mmm- chocolately. And, for that matter, whatever happened to Aztec bars?

I think we, the public, have a Right to Know.